Candy Bras

Last month my sister and I went to an adult store in Maine. This may be too much information for some people, but I don't see the big deal, besides, if this is too much information, you've probably skipped a lot of my blog altogether!

At any rate, I rarely say anything positive about my miserable existence in Chicago, BUT, that frozen tundra has terrific adult stores (my favorites include Tulip and The Pleasure Chest, if you are curious.)

Condom Sense has a catchy name, an ok website, and a fabulous location on the cobbled streets of Portland, Maine. They even have a few items made in America, such as the edible, glow in the dark body paint. I was even tempted to replace my long mourned Silver Bullet with a knock -off version that failed to list where it was made (Alas, however, the knock-off versions were missing some key features of the real Silver Bullet and remained in the store).

What most intrigued me about the experience though, aside from the lone salesperson who refused to get off the phone and assist curious, spend happy customers, were the candy bras and underwear.

I've seen these items before our boycott and never purchased them, for practical reasons, of course...they don't look the slightest bit comfortable. If you've never seen a candy bra before, imagine the colorful, Cheerio like candy bracelets you'd get as a kid, the kind on a flimsy string which would sometimes get caught between your teeth as you'd try to bite off your favorite sugary sweet color first. Unfortunately doing this usually resulted in you biting the crappy yellow "bead" next to the one you wanted while simultaneously creating a huge pool of drool careening down your chin and wrist.

Now imagine that same concept turned into a "bra" and, or underwear. Hot huh?

Good thing they are made in China and had to stay in the store. It saved me from trying to think of reasons why pools of sticky drool in "delicate places" were not a good idea! Monistat might like the end result, but I wouldn't!

The Pleasure Chest

In an act of desperation, due to the sudden and untimely death of my Silver Bullet, Luke and I went to The Pleasure Chest in Chicago (this was before we moved...I'm a bit behind here) in hopes of finding a comparable source of pleasure.

I was hoping to be able to buy myself a memorable, "Turning 30 is not so bad" gift.

If you've never been to The Pleasure Chest, I highly recommend a trip to one of their three locations or to the website, or both. The staff was incredibly knowledgeable and friendly, the store is a delight to shop in, unlike many "adult stores" and the dominant color theme is red, my favorite color. Furthermore, the salespeople did not laugh at me when I asked if they had anything comparable to the Silver Bullet which was not made in China.

The person who assisted me searched the store trying to find a suitable alternative. He certainly understands that people are attached to their objects of pleasure!

Unfortunately we were unable to find any vibrators even remotely resembling the Silver Bullet. The salesperson told me that almost all of the inexpensive toys are made in China and are not designed to last very long. I've had, and used mine for about 5 years and more than delighted in the $20 I spent on it, but he did have a valid point when comparing the quality of vibes made in China, or even Japan as they are starting to be made, versus those made in Germany or America.

The price difference between the vibes made in China or Japan and those made in Germany or America helped illustrate why outsourcing is occurring on such a grand scale. It's a difficult sell to convince someone to spend $50-$200 on a toy that you can't try out in the store or return if you are unhappy with it. That is part of why it is so much more appealing to lay out $10-$40, or the cost of dinner (and maybe less hassle) for a made in China toy. Even if you don't like your new toy, there wasn't much of an investment, financial or emotional, on your part.

And so, as I stated in The Ultimate Test of My Willpower, I will be looking forward to 2008 when I can stock up on the Silver Bullet. The only things currently interfering with my future enjoyment are my frustration and guilt that this great product is not made here and a lingering curiosity to see what it would take to develop my very own line of sex positive, made in America toys.

Would it be easier than this boycott?

Surely my readers would consider buying these products, right?